just the good stuff: volume #5

seven things that brought me joy over the last seven days or so. listed in no particular order, it’s literally all good :)

possibilities & expecting the best: pretty sure I mentioned letting go last week and this is sort of an extension of that. lately I have been feeling very open and imaginative about the best possible outcomes in any situation. “what’s the best that could happen?” I’ve been letting go of the idea that I have to do anything to deserve or receive the best that life has to offer. what if I’m deserving just because I exist? what if incredible possibilities are on their way to me and all I have to do to receive them is be myself? WHAT IF?! meditating on the best possibilities and being grateful for what I have now while also being grateful in advance for all that’s on the way has been magical.

the sweet elder at Whole Foods: I’m realizing this is my second sweet encounter with an older Black woman working at a grocery store! before it was a cashier at Trader Joe’s who told me I looked cute in my red dress. i smiled so hard you would have thought she told me my groceries were free lol. This time at Whole Foods an older Black woman was working at a table giving out coffee samples and asked if I would like some. I was barely done politely declining before she said “You look like a tea person. You just have a calm way about you.” if anyone needs me, i'll be thinking about that compliment for the rest of my life.

my girl Karen: to know her is to be constantly in awe of and inspired by her. I asked for her help on a project I was feeling stuck on and she came through with the creative insight, genuine care, and genius that she’s known for. it is such a blessing to be in community with brilliant women who mirror our brilliance back to us, call out or gifts, and insist that we take up space instead of shrinking. forever grateful that our paths crossed and that someone who was once my client I can now count among my friends.

Painterland Sisters Blueberry Lemon Skyr: I know Greek yogurt has been that girl for a while but let me tell you something, bitch! Icelandic style yogurt (skyr) takes the cake! and you know I’m not fucking around because that’s three consecutive exclamation points! I am incredibly particular about flavors and textures and have been working to create systems and routines that make it easy for me to feed myself. Oatmeal and yogurt seems like a weird combo but I promise you, with the right oatmeal and yogurt, it’s incredible. THIS YOGURT IS SO FUCKING GOOD that I think I actually wrote about it last week and forgot so I’m writing about it again because it’s still bringing me joy. and it’s not loaded with a fuckton of sugar or artificial sweeteners.

daily hugs from grandma: the other day my grandmother asked if there was anything she could do to help me. I live with her as her full-time caregiver and she shared that she feels like I run around doing too much and wants to know what she can do to help me. I immediately responded “you can give me a hug every day" and she looked surprised. I am easily the most affectionate person on this side of the family and always have been. she is my last living grandparent and I would like as many hugs from her as I can get. every single one brings me joy.

my personal growth: tears welled up in my eyes as started typing this. “I’m the only one who knows what it cost me.” Niecy Nash said that in her Emmy acceptance speech. “I'm the only one who knows how many nights I cried…” the amount of courage and resilience and belief in myself that I have had to cultivate. the amount of times that I have had to find my way back to myself or move forward while transforming into a new version of myself that I felt unfamiliar with. the amount of trauma that I have survived. the hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars spent on therapy (well worth it). my commitment to being a kind, caring member of society who takes good care of myself and others. my politics are not theory, they are put into practice every day. I like me and I’m proud of the way I keep going.

just the good stuff: volume 4

seven things that brought me joy over the last seven days or so. listed in no particular order, it’s literally all good :)

  • going for a walk — something about going for a walk just gets me together. it’s been cool enough to go for a cute little walk in the morning or evening and I love it. sometimes it’s a long walk for a couple of miles, sometimes it’s just a cute 15 minute situation to get out of the house and get my blood flowing. I’m planning to go walk on the trail at the harbor again soon. the more enjoyable physical activity the better.

  • my room — it’s been about a year and a half since I moved and I’m so pleased with all of the adjustments I’ve made to this room. every element is intentional: the bedding, the vanity, the nightstand, the tea nook, and now I’m working on one final area and the closet. I’m used to having a lot more autonomous space so it feels really good to have my own little sanctuary that is tailor made to support me. it’s functional and cozy and I love how everything looks. the trifecta!

  • pink highlight —I set my highlight color to pink and it’s added a major level of delight to my computer interfacing experience. System Settings > Appearance > Highlight color. You’re welcome.

  • strength training — I signed up for one-on-one pilates and she asked if I wanted to incorporate strength training so I said yes. Dude. I’ve been getting my ass whooped in the literal best way possible. It’s difficult and I’m sore for days but I’m also so grateful to have access to this level of support. It’s an answered prayer. I love my body and I welcome the challenge of taking care of it.

  • new safe food — I found an overnight oats and yogurt combination that I think is going to be a reliable go-to for a long time. It’s such a good combination and I feel like adding some fresh fruit and walnuts or hemp seeds would really set it off. the best part is I don’t have to cook anything, just assemble. as a matter of fact, I might go have some right now LOL.

  • tretinoin — we stan a retinoid, amen? my old derm’s office wouldn’t reply to my emails but that’s okay because I’ve always been a resourceful girl. One GoodRx Gold trial subscription and virtual appt with a nurse practitioner later and I have a prescription for a 45 gram tube of tret with two prescriptions. life is good, friends. life is good!

  • letting go of expecting a certain outcome — I’ve been pressed about a certain outcome in particular for a little while. Recently I decided to let it go and to say that I feel so much better is an understatement. Almost immediately, ideas for other possible solutions came to mind and I felt unstuck.

just the good stuff: volume 3

seven things that brought me joy over the last seven days or so. listed in no particular order, it’s literally all good :)

the cheese pizza I had for dinner: the sheer joy of ordering something because the photo looked delicious on DoorDash and when I opened the pizza box it looked exactly like the picture and was even better than I imagined it would be. a wet dream but in pizza form. the truffle parmesan fries were also really good. hands down, delicious food is one of my favorite parts of human life.

the serenity of sitting in a clean and tidy room: I cleaned up the doom pile of papers and notebooks and other random shit that had been accumulating for weeks (months?) on a table in my room. the energy in my room feels so much better now. I also dusted and vacuumed and can literally breather easier.

new washer and dryer: dude! the old washing machine got rusty — like literal rust — and sometimes I would get rust stains on my clothes. not demure, not fucking cutesy or considerate. very excited to now be able to wash my whites and everything else without a care in the world. praise God!

the little cooktop I bought for my tea nook: guess who doesn’t have to go downstairs to make a ginger decoction? ME BITCH! I love accommodating myself and making it easier and more accessible for me to take care of myself.

just the good stuff: volume #2

seven things that brought me joy over the last seven days or so. listed in no particular order, it’s literally all good :)

  • My body — the last week or so has been kind of a doozy for ya girl but this glorious, miraculous, God blessed machine that I called my body has carried me through it all like it has done every single day of my life. I had a one-on-one Pilates session on Wednesday and it was difficult but I enjoyed it and am always impressed and grateful by all that my body can do.

  • The Finch app & my adorable little birb, Bubbie! — I am so obsessed with this app in the healthiest way possible. I’ve used it consistently daily since downloading it over a month ago and it has already provided me with such significant support in completing daily care tasks. The creators of this app have gameified habit tracking while also incorporating mindfulness, positivity, and community in the most delightful and efficient way. I strongly suspect I will still be using this app a year from now.

  • Ginger tea — I felt some sick cooties trying to take over so I made a strong pot of ginger tea and it was exactly what I needed. So delicious and so effective. I sat down and drank my tea in silence while reflecting and talking to God and it was a beautiful and serene moment that I needed more than I knew. I felt also felt much better the next day. As much as I love summer, I will welcome fall with open arms and a strong cup of ginger tea in hand.

  • Talking to my friends — A quote from Toni Morrison says “Our friendships with other women are the currency of our lives.” Let me tell you, I am a wealthy girl. I had phone convos with two of my closest friends this week and talking to them always fills my cup. It is delightful to be closely in community with other Black women who are dedicated to doing their work and nurturing their light.

  • Kid Fury show in DC — Shout out to all the DMV folks who lovingly bullied Fury into having multiple shows in DC, all of which sold out. I went to the last show on Thursday night and was seated with another young lady who went solo. We exchanged numbers and may get together for brunch in the future so that’s cute. Kid Fury was also hilarious and vulnerable and relatable and I adore him.

  • Dancing in my room — I didn’t realize I had stopped dancing until I started again. from a young age, I was in dance class and took every kind of dance class imaginable: ballet, tap, jazz, modern, and hip-hop. Dance afforded me an enjoyable relationship with my body very early on in life and I’ve carried that with me. Consicously and subconsciously, I’ve always used dance as a way to ground myself and get back into my body, a way to immediately and viscerally connect to joy when everything feels too heavy. I put my headphones in and danced to My Light two times in a row and was reminded of what a gift it is to joyfully move my body to music.

  • Making tea for grandma — I fully expected her to say no when I offered her a cup of the tea I made. When she said yes, I told her it was okay if she didn’t like it and that she didn’t need to drink it all just to make me happy. Not only did she drink her entire cup of tea, she said it was very good! I would not have been offended in the least if she didn’t like it but it sure did make my heart swell in my chest to know that she truly enjoyed it. Grandma is not a good liar so I would have been able to tell if it wasn’t the truth :)

until next time, I love you and I mean that, friend! be kind to yourself 💕

just the good stuff: volume #1

seven things that brought me joy over the last seven days or so. listed in no particular order, it’s literally all good :)

Therapy for Black Girls Welcome Party & Summit – it’s not at all an exaggeration when I say that sometimes I cry randomly because I love being part of the TBG team. Full disclosure: ya girl is not a therapist, but I’ve been part of the TBG team for a little over four years as an assistant. This year we put on two in-person events which we’ve never done before. It was not easy but it was incredibly rewarding and I’d do all of it again in a heartbeat. I got the chance to meet some of my team members for the first time and it was just an overall great experience that filled my cup to the very brim.

The little Black girl who rested her head on my shoulder during our flight – she couldn’t have been older than four and had the cutest little afro puffs. For most of the flight, she was watching cartoons on her ipad or asleep in her mom’s lap, but a few times she dozed off and her head fell on my shoulder. When her mom noticed, she apologized and I told her it was no problem at all. I honestly felt special and chosen :)

This journal! – I smile every time I look at the cover. I came across the journal randomly at the store, but I included a link where you can buy it directly from the artist’s Etsy shop. You can also follow her on Instagram @kenzistudioco.

Reggie in Bad Boys Ride Or Die – I didn’t get a chance to see the movie in theaters so I bought it the very first day that it was available and watched it right away. MANNNNNN, LISTEN! Reggie ate so bad! I replayed the scene immediately because it was so good. If you saw the movie, you know exactly which scene I’m talking about. His character arc was already good but is now easily one of my faves ever.

My tea nook/tea corner/little slice of heaven – it’s been nearly two years since I moved in with my grandmother as her full-time caregiver. It has taken a lot of love and care and imagination to turn a single room into a space that serves me well in a number of ways. When I first got here, my herbs were stored away in bins where they weren’t easily accessible for me to work with. Now everything is arranged conveniently and thoughtfully in a way that puts everything at my fingertips and invites me to come create. It’s perfect in every way 🥰

The delicious zucchini squash from the farmer’s market – I love fresh produce. This just reminded me that I need to go back up there and get me some more. I just had some corn on the cob tonight too and it was insanely good. Shout out to the farmer’s market.

Sleeping in a cold ass room for a few days – I love sleeping in a cold ass room! I set the thermostat to 71 degrees and slept like a baby every night that I was in Atlanta for work. It was a beautiful shift from my 80 degree room at home. I won’t use this space to fuss about how hot the house is, because this is just the good stuff 😜

til next time! love you lots and lots 💕